late night vibes… 😴

Who said nights were for sleep? Late Night Vibes on Spotify » Tracklist: (* = Unreleased) 0:00 idealism – dont say a …

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  1. This seems like a good comment section to vent in, so here goes nothing.

    Tomorrow is going to be tough. It is 11:29 pm and my homework isn't done. Luckily, I might have a plan to get it done.
    Today my friend drew a tattoo that she wants on her wrist, so I drew one on my wrist. I told her I could do it better, so she asked me to draw it when I was home so that she could see it the next day at school. Idioticly, I said yes.
    Why is this bad?
    The tattoo hold special value to me. It is simple, a bracelet with a pink, yellow, and blue bead in the middle. It is my symbol of hope and rebellion.
    Why does it mean that to me?
    Pink, yellow, and blue are the colors on the pansexual flag. I am pansexual. I am also closeted.
    I am afraid she will ask what it means.
    I'm not ready to tell, but I can't lie to her. She is not a friend I can lie to. She would never lie to me, so it feels like betrayal.
    I am also afraid of her disapproval.
    I don't think she will care, but I dont know. I don't think I could stand her not approving of me.
    Adding to that, I know many people around me that would support me. Why don't I come out? I have enough trouble hating myself, I don't want anyone else hating me.
    Occasionally I starve myself. I don't know why, sometimes eating just feels so wrong, so disgusting, that I would rather have my stomach ache than put food in my body.
    I have also gotten close to self harm. I have told only one person, and even then, I mentioned it in passing and wasn't telling the whole story. Sometimes I just feel like I need to be able to describe or show the mental pain I feel, so I almost do. But then I think of what my best friend(not the one previously mentioned), my crush would say if she knew, and I don't do it. All I want is her approval, and she wouldn't approve of that, so I don't do it.
    On top of my sexuality, is my religion. I am atheist. My mother hates me for my religion, my father doesn't mind. I struggle with hating what I believe every time I see my mom.

    All of these feelings are inside a 7th grade student taking honors classes. (I am two grade ahead in math and one grade ahead in language arts) I pretend to be a bubbly, happy, normal, slightly odd, but nice girl every day. It is very tiring.

    So, that is all I care to write. Of course there is more, but I don't want to write more. Thank from the bottom of my heart if you are still reading this, it truly means a lot to me. I needed to vent and I found a place to do it.
    It is now 12:00 and I have school tomorrow, I am going to sleep. I hope that you, whoever and wherever you are, have more good days and that your situation is better than mine.
    You have let me talk, so if you want to talk to me, please do. Goodnight!

  2. Chillin' in bed, 3:30 am, thinking what's next? Where will i go? Who will I be with? Am i alone? Pondering life as you know it, realizing you can't do anything but go with the flow. Late night vibes, enjoying the nightlife outside… Kinda wish you could forget tomorrow, and live In the moment forever…

  3. I don't wanna live no more. I'm out the door. I'm out the space. Out the sky today. Thinking of my way. That I need to get away, I need to go some place. I need a home away, from home. I am sad. But I am glad, that I'm hear to stay, but I'm really mad that I'm not okay. Yes. I'm just a lame. I am sitting in my room, thinking about what I can do. Do to get somewhere……better.

  4. It is another rainy night as I look outside the train window listening to this mix. I can oversee the lights of the city west of here. They shine like lanterns in the darkness. I look to the other side of the train and see a girl looking outside her window too. I wonder if she see's what I see?

  5. I thank God cus one day ima really touch the sky, I thank God cus really im in the sky- in his eyes, mind, soul. I thank God for letting us inside, giving us insight, it'll all one day unfold. Wisdom is better than silver and gold, we know but we dont really show or live up to food for soul. But one day we'll all touch the sky, see the dark, see the light- see the truth always hidden in plain site.

  6. no one knows what happens after death, the genius atheists, or the extremely religious, we're all a bunch of imbeciles trying to make a sense of something that maybe doesn't even have one…

  7. Hey guys on this day 13th of May 2018 I miss two best friends that have taken their separate ways away from me although it hurts I miss them so much
    I also lost on this day my girlfriend a girl who actually loved me her name was houria (mermaid) that girl saw what I didn't see in myself she tried her best to make me a better man but as you would expect from a total failure I failed and she decided to leave
    And now I'm alone I'm high I'm lonely I'm more sad than yesterday but also less than tomorrow….
    Good night <3

  8. I've got a day of Travel coming up starting at noon in Paris, then heading to London, then catching an hour train to the airport to catch a 5am flight the next morning to New York City, you better believe I'll be chilling to this music then lol.

  9. Es la 1 de la mañana, un sabado en el que me quedo en la casa de mi padre, estoy en mi cuarto con un cigarrillo en la mano obseravndo la ventana empañada por la lluvia qur acaba de terminar, pensado en todo lo malo que tengo ahora, todo lo malo que tuve y que tendre, pensando en todas las personas que me han hecho daño, los momentos en los que he sufrido, los dia de llanto, los malos ratos. Pero al ver el baile del humo del cigarro, recuerdo que tengo tanta suerte, tanta suerte de tener buenos amigos con los que puedo reir hasta que me duela el estomago, personas y familia que me quieren, chicas que se fijan en mi, la oportunidad de poder aprender algo que amo, vivir momentos unicos, de esos que hacen que hacen que me lata rapido el corazon , como cuando era un niño y jugaba a las escondidas con mi amigos, recuerdo que la vida es asi, los momentos duros son los que hacen resaltar esos momentos donde yo estoy feliz, y mientras miro todo eso en mi cabeza, observando esa ventana empañada pienso en las ganas que tengo de seguir viviendo, observando las luces de la ciudad, imaginando mi futuro, puede que entre esas luces este el futuro amor de mi vida, mi futuro amigo al que pueda llamar hermano, las futuras aventuras que vivire, las proximas noches en donde este afuera entre esas luces, gritando o corriendo, siendo feliz, a lo que vine a este mundo, en este pequeño instante que me toco vivir, es este pequeño espacio entre lo basto del universo que me toco estar, y entonces cuando el cigarro se apaga miro a la ventana y pienso que la vida es bella, es jodidamente bella.

  10. She looks up into your eyes after an eternity of laughter with you
    She smiles, bites her lips and blushes
    Looking away with her earthly eyes
    Her fingers wrapping over her oversized sweater
    Her hands attempting to cover her soul-spirited eyes
    You grab her by the waist, pulling her closer into you
    You look down into her eyes, look even further down at her lips
    You clench onto her soul in these few moments
    And you stare amongst the skyscrapers and the city lights with her
    The night is darkness
    Yet these moments are all that are needed to light up the city
    And your life.

  11. i wrote so many things here to tell you guys about all the problems i have because of that stupid borderline thing, but just deleted them all. i don't think there is anyone can help me after this point. lived a life full of joy, had great moments and friendships all around the world but i can't find the power to go on. idk why i'm writing this but it's just, you know, don't give a fuck about nothing guys. just be yourself and love who you are. i couldn't…

  12. Its 2:23 AM. She's been asleep since 11, face lodged in the pillow, muffled breaths barely audible. you roll out of bed slowly, grab your earbuds and lean against the balcony railing, not looking at the cars and streetlights that lie below, but to the sky. the rain patters gently on the railing and onto your face, cooling and cleansing in a way you never thought you needed. You think of your past, the lives you've lived, the people you've damaged, the friends you've made and lost, and how you somehow managed to end up here, on this balcony, on this night, listening to this song mix. after 20 or so minutes of reminiscence, you grow sleepy and cold. You slip back into bed.

  13. i’m here because i just can’t sleep, my medication gives me insomnia. i’m in love with someone who simply lead me on and is still my support system. i’m graduating high school soon, it’s going to suck not having him there. i’m doing better, it’s been 4 days and i haven’t really suicidal. its 2am, i don’t know what to do. but, besides that… i hope everyone is having an amazing day/night, because we all deserve the world.

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